by Jessica Ulery

           I’m drowning. I don’t know where I am or how I got here, but I know I’m drowning. Every time I desperately gasp for air, my lungs are flooded with water. Water like fire that burns as I consume it. Each time I compulsively breathe, I can feel every cell of my being blazing in pain. And even though it burns inside as I inhale, this frigid, icy water slices through my skin with each movement I make, freezing my boiling blood right there in my veins. But I’m still here, still awake. I feel everything. I’m drowning, but I’m not dead. Death would be a fate far better than this.

            It’s dark here. I can sense my body suspended in the water, but I can’t tell which way is up. I can’t see my own hand in front of my face. This darkness is surreal. Deafening. Silencing. The darkness is so thick I can feel it as it clutches my very soul, holding me prisoner here. It relentlessly torments me screaming obscenities to my mind that cripple any sliver of hope. Its evil fills me with anger, rage, sadness, sorrow, and despair. But, no matter how much wickedness this darkness pours into me, I’m left empty and void. As if a pitcher of water were being poured into a glass with a hole in the bottom. As if my heart has a hole in it too. A hole that I long to fill. There must be more than this. Please, someone help me.

            Immediately, as if in response to my thought, a tiny sliver of light cuts through the dark waters. It’s faint, but it’s there. Even this small amount of light illuminates my world. I see the murky water. Bubbles float in front of me. I raise my hand and see my pale skin for the first time. And as it contrasts the light, I can see the malignant cloud of darkness everywhere, surrounding me. The light grows brighter and brighter until the sliver becomes a beam. I must get to it. I reach out and swim toward the light. I can feel its warmth even before I reach it. As the light continues to brighten, my hope ignites. I’m nearly there. I’m so close, I can almost touch it.

            Just as I am about to reach the light, as I am just beyond its grasp, a force violently jerks me back. Behind me, the darkness is enveloping me. Its tentacles reach out and coil around my body. I squirm and struggle to break free, but it’s no use. It’s sinister laugh taunts me as it pulls me deeper into the depths. My spirit deflates as it drags me away from the light, away from my hope, back to the abyss. I can’t go back there! Not now after I’ve seen the light. I scream with everything I have but the sound is muffled by the water.        

            Then it happens. Suddenly, everything disappears in a fierce flash of white light. This searing light is so blinding, I dare not open my eyes. I realize that the darkness that once held me captive, has been devoured by the light. I’m free! The light has rescued me! I open my eyes and desperately swim toward the surface. I can see someone waiting for me. There’s no land in sight, yet there He is, reaching out His hand to me.

            I can see His face now. He’s beautiful. The light emanates from Him and I realize that He is the source of the light. A breeze peacefully blows through His long, brown hair. He’s smiling. The most alluring smile that exudes nothing but joy. But it’s His eyes that take my breath away. His eyes are deep pools of endless love. Love as pure as the bright light that drew me to Him. Love so intense, it shakes my core. Love so immense, I’m drowning in it. His gaze penetrates my thoughts and somehow, I know. I know this man I’ve never met. I know that I am His. I know that He loves me more than I will ever understand.

            My fingers interlock with His and He pulls me from the ocean of death. I cough before I can breathe my first breath of fresh air. This air tastes so sweet. He embraces me like He will never let go. And I don’t want Him to. As I fall into Him, I am so overwhelmed, I can’t stop the tears from falling from my eyes. I begin weeping on His shoulder and I can feel that He is weeping too. He looks at me again. My Savior, my beautiful rescuer. His smile turns to laughter and we laugh together. I am safe here. I am loved by Him. And there’s no place else I’d rather be.

            I look into His eyes again. Still flooded with passionate love, now I see sorrow there. Tears well up in His eyes again. My heart breaks for Him. I can’t stand the sight of seeing Him hurting, but what can I do? I follow His stare which falls back into the ocean. And there, for the first time, I see. There are others. Hundreds, no, thousands of others just like me. Trapped in the dark abyss. Lifeless, but still alive.

            He looks at me and without a word I know He is telling me that we have to save them. How can I say no? He is the only reason I am free. My heart beats for Him. If He loves them, I love them. If He can save me, He can save them. I must bring them to Him. I do the only thing I know to do. I scream out into the waters. As loud as I can, I shout to them. I tell my story. That He is better than the water. He is stronger than the darkness. He saved me. He loves you. Come to the Light.

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