{"id":1156,"date":"2017-04-26T00:04:26","date_gmt":"2017-04-26T00:04:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/divine-romance.com\/?p=1156"},"modified":"2017-09-01T01:05:16","modified_gmt":"2017-09-01T01:05:16","slug":"does-marriage-ruin-sex","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/divine-romance.com\/blog\/does-marriage-ruin-sex\/","title":{"rendered":"Does marriage ruin sex?"},"content":{"rendered":"

“Marriage ruins sex” seems to have become a common mantra in pop culture. Seeing as how the overwhelming majority of\u00a0those peddling this ideal are unmarried I’d like to speak up and add my voice to the mix, as a married man, and let you know that marriage most certainly does not ruin sex. I was a virgin until I married my wife at age 30, and I have not once regretted waiting for her. Nor have I suffered any negative consequences by choosing to wait for marriage to begin a sexual relationship. Quite the contrary.<\/p>\n

To the singles:<\/h2>\n

I’ve heard the locker room talk of guys bragging about how good they are in bed,\u00a0but until\u00a0a man\u00a0can balance\u00a0the\u00a0mundane responsibilities\u00a0of successfully running a household\u00a0(required to make your wife feel safe)\u00a0with the playfulness, imagination,\u00a0freedom, and\u00a0unrestrained\u00a0passion required to stimulate\u00a0her\u00a0erotic side then he hasn’t accomplished\u00a0anything.\u00a0Any dimwitted\u00a0schmuck can stimulate a woman’s body for one night. That’s not impressive at all, but\u00a0once you can also touch her heart, excite her mind, and do it day-in and day-out with increasing\u00a0passion as though it’s your first time with her THEN you have something to brag about. Only marriage provides the frame work for that to happen, and anything less than this is cheap, cowardly, and a mockery of what sex has the potential to be.\u00a0When you partner the unreserved, lifelong devotion of marriage with the physical expression of that devotion the results are nothing short of explosive. A fleeting one night stand could never begin to compare to the experience of joyfully giving every part of yourself to the person who has taken your very identity as their own.<\/span><\/p>\n

Until you can give yourself to a partner\u00a0who has committed to stick with you through a\u00a0lifetime of joyous mountaintops, as well as through\u00a0every dark valley, then any sexual act will just be wading in the shallows bound by fear from plunging into the depths of true sexual connection. This random hook-up culture reminds me of a hoarder who wastes their life collecting worthless trinkets around home because they are too scared to embark on a great adventure to claim a priceless treasure, or a child who opts for sloshing around the sandbox in the backyard because they can’t comprehend the offer of a vacation to the sea. Once you’ve made love to the person that you will not only wake up next\u00a0to in the morning, but will wake up next to every morning from now on then, and only then, will you know how truly blissful sex can be. Our<\/span>\u00a0generation is missing out\u00a0on one of the greatest gifts ever given to man because they’ve been duped into believing the lies of our confused and floundering culture.<\/span><\/p>\n

It seems like everywhere you look, in movies, TV, music, and even advertisements,\u00a0an idea is\u00a0being spread\u00a0that marriage relationships are boring and monotonous, and wild nights of promiscuity are exciting and fulfilling. In a world where pre-marital abstinence is mocked,\u00a0exchanging wives for a night is considered a normal recreational activity,\u00a0and being confused over what gender you are is applauded it is no surprise people have no idea what true love looks like. If this constitutes\u00a0our society’s understanding of love than it is no wonder marriages are struggling\u00a0in the sex department\u00a0and\u00a0divorce rates are skyrocketing.<\/span><\/p>\n

To those married:<\/h2>\n

If you are struggling with sex in your marriage then I’d like to\u00a0present the idea for your consideration that sex is not inherently the problem. Maybe the problem is you’ve allowed familiarity to breed contempt. Have you stopped looking at your partner with new eyes as though it’s your first time to see them? Have you allowed unresolved conflicts to build bitterness between you two? Have you let yourself go and stopped trying to impress your partner? I would wager that if your\u00a0sex life has died in your marriage it is because the romance died first. Sex is not your problem. Sex is a gift. Selfishness, lack of communication, insensitivity, resentment, unforgiveness, laziness, and lack of effort are your problem. If you are\u00a0experiencing a less-than-awesome sex life then the experts recommend implementing some of these steps to give it a boost:<\/p>\n